Remembering Phoebe Prince

Attorneys are expected to enter not guilty pleas today for three teens charged for bullying 15-year-old Phoebe Prince.  The teen committed suicide earlier this year after she was allegedly targeted and bullied relentlessly for months.  Nine teenagers, seven females and two males, are all facing a variety of charges including statutory rape, criminal harassment, violation of civil rights and disturbing a school assembly resulting in bodily injury.  This past Tuesday, three other teens entered not guilty pleas for their roles in this alleged crime.  Those suspects are scheduled to appear back in court on September 15, 2010.

Phoebe took her life on January 14, 2010 after she was allegedly bullied inside her South Hadley High School in Massachusetts and online.  Many reports indicate that administrators and staff of the school knew about the bullying and abuse, but did nothing to help.  Phoebe’s aunt even visited the school before her arrival from Ireland and told them about her bullying experiences overseas, and how they should be aware that her niece was susceptible to this type of abuse.  Reports indicate the teachers and administrators may have even witnessed physical abuse, and had full knowledge about the situation, but turned their heads to the situation. 

Phoebe was dating a popular high school athlete, and a group known as the “Mean Girls” allegedly targeted her in person and on the Internet calling her names and spreading rumors about her.  The days leading up to her death, investigators say she was bullied in the library, the lunchroom, the hallways, and even walking home.  In many instances she was threatened with text messages, her books were flung out of her hands, and horrific false information tarnished her reputation online.  According to the NY Daily News, DA Elizabeth Scheibel said, “The investigation revealed relentless activity directed toward Phoebe designed to humiliate her and to make it impossible for her to remain at school,”

With all the attention the media gives to bullying and students taking their own lives as a result, it amazes me that it still exists.  I was reading a report a couple of days ago where an official said something to the effect of the students “having their own little world.”  I don’t believe children should ever be “living in their own little world.”  There are resources, workshops, and non-profits devoted to the educating of teachers and parents. I believe as a parent and a teacher it is your responsibility to make yourselves a part of that world and to be a space invader.  It takes time and dedication to learn the technology, and the lingo, but it could save a lot of heartache for your children and the proper education could even save a life.    

The National Crime Prevention Council said in 2007 that 43% of teens have been a victim of cyber-bullying.  Cyber bullies use Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, and text messages to hurt and send out nasty messages about students or youngsters in their communities they want to target.  NetSmartz from the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children has a section for parents on how to prevent this and what to do if your child is a victim.  The information is fantastic and really walks parents through the steps they need to learn the ins and outs of their children’s technology. The National Crime Prevention Council always has helpful tips and articles. 

This is something to take seriously.  A simple step like having access to your child’s social networking accounts, creating your own account, and becoming their friend is a great way to monitor the activity.  Understanding the privacy settings on all the social networking sites is extremely important, there are ways to block out certain information from certain people on a friend list.  As for the phones, I know a family that has a cell phone basket, and each evening around 9:30 p.m. all kids have to put their phones in the basket.  They are allowed to have them back in the morning, but they do not allow any of the children to take their phones into their rooms all night with them.  The family also does not allow the Internet on the phones, only in the home, and it is monitored.  Educating children on what bullying is, showing them examples like Phoebe’s case, and implementing a mandatory program inside schools is another great place to start.

Chicopee High School in Massachusetts sends out a bullying survey every year to parents asking them about problems, issues, and concerns.  That high school has zero tolerance for bullying.   I encourage you to be proactive instead of reactive when it comes to your child and this serious issue.  

As for Phoebe, may this child rest peacefully, and for those who “may” be responsible for her death – may we all learn from the mistakes.